Days 19 and 20 - Weekends are Challenging

Writing has been therapeutic for me...not surprising.  Reading the comments that some of you have left has been inspirational and exciting.  Keith is brilliant.  I am saving all his comments because he will have chapters of a book ready for submission.  Even if you haven't signed up to follow this site yet, please take the time to read Keith's comments.  They are far more valuable than anything I have to say.

Weekends are always challenging for me. I'm trying to keep things in perspective because of something Keith said about failures.  Actually, Keith congratulated me on a failure because of the new beginning that comes from that failure.  I'm being brief here, but that's close to the context of his message.  I also think it can be said that a lapse isn't a relapse.  Picking up and plunging ahead is what I do best.

My goal for tomorrow is to eat three meals that are healthy for my mind and soul.  Just tomorrow.  That's all I can think about right now.  One day at a time.

Days 9, 10, and 11 - Freud and Me

Have you noticed that writing is the best way to talk without being interrupted?  Maybe that's why I started this blog about eating.  Perhaps way down deep inside me there was a Freudian need to be heard. I almost embarrassed to talk about my eating and or dieting adventures with anyone.  My husband doesn't believe I can stick to anything, much less a lifestyle change...and why should he?  I don't have a very good track record with my eating habits. I set myself up for comments that will upset me if I talk too much around my house about food.  Plus for whatever reason I feel judged.  Feeling judged makes makes me feel heavy. Maybe the heaviness that I feel is one of burden.  Does that make sense?  Maybe I need help!

 I guess I should come really clean with you and let you know that I've delt with an eating disorder for longer than I can remember.  No I'm not anorexic.  If I had to label myself I'd say I have been bullimic.  Yes, I've seen a counselor.  She traced my eating problems back to when my stick-thin mother put me on diet pills at the age of 15.  Looking back at pictures of myself I realize that I was perfect the way I was.  If any of you who are reading this are mothers, please take heed and realize what an effect your comments can have on your daughters.

The past few days I've eaten without making any announcements to my husband.  I've eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner and done okay.  I've been trying to think of carbohydrates as a garnish rather than a food.  Mostly I've been eating fruits, vegetables, and proteins.  Sounds boring but it hasn't been.  I've not been hungry but I've had to fight off the urge to eat late at night.  That's a habit that's going to be hard to break. I'm feeling persistent if nothing else right now.

Enough of the "heavy" stuff!  I've had lots of fun and exercise this week thanks to my grandson, dogs, and horses.  Babysitting for a 5-month-old, walking my dogs, and riding my horses allow me to be active almost constantly without feeling like I'm exercising.  Now that's something I can truly be happy about! Life is good.

Day 2 - Scales? What Scales!?

You know what occurred to me?  I forgot to weigh myself yesterday on the first day of my journey.  I feel like celebrating until the cows come home!  I feel like kissing my dogs.  Shoot, I'll even call my husband to my office and give him a kiss. You want to know why?  I'll tell you!  It's because I must truly not be dieting.  I always weigh myself the minute I get out of bed when I start a diet.  Then if I pass the bathroom with the scale I weigh myself again...and again...and again.

This morning I woke up and thought about peaches and strawberries.  I thought about eating.  Frankly, I'm scaring myself. I FORGOT THE SCALES!  I did remember you though.  You've got to hold up your end of the bargain I told myself. You're pulling other people along for this ride.

Here's the other interesting thing I do before embarking on a diet.  I stuff myself.  I order a pizza and ask for it to be cut into four pieces because I'll get too
 full if I eat six.  I think that's pretty funny but the joke's usually on me.  Actually, it's always on me.

Right now it's 10:30 something or other at night and I've eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I felt the urge to go downstairs to the kitchen to get something else but you know what?  I'm really not hungry.  I've entered all my food on fitday.com and I've had a very balanced day.

Let's make a toast.  Here's to a day of kind mindful eating and here's to you too!  Thanks for traveling the celeryandcarrots path with me.

Day One – Food Is My Friend and So Is fitday.com

I have decided that food is not my enemy. No such thing as a giant cookie that’s going to grab me by the neck and choke me until I die. Turnips won’t force themselves down my throat either. I can have a relationship with food that’s easy and kind. Now if that isn’t SWEET I don’t know what is! I can eat what I want when I want as long as I keep tabs on what I’m doing and eat mindfully.

  I am going to track my journey with food and healthy lifestyle changes on a site called fitday.com. I looked over several other similar sites and this one seemed to be really user-friendly. I want to find a network of people to travel this year-long journey with me. I’m especially hoping that my relative by marriage, good friend, and fitness guru will join me on this endeavour. His name is Keith Oliver. I want Keith to tell his story and help all of us.